December 2009
1 post
Jake And Jess
Jake (fixing his belt): Sup babe?
Jess: What are you doing?
Jake: I'm adjusting my balls because they were stuck to the side of my thigh, and it was uncomfortable, and I was grabbing them with my left hand to fix it.
Sam: Jake, stop doing what you're doing.
November 2009
8 posts
High School Reunions
Streeter: I feel like the five year high school reunion is the last reunion where it's still cool to try to have sex with your classmates.
Jake: Yeah, obviously. Why wouldn't you try to do that at the ten year?
Streeter: 'Cause I feel like that's when people start to get married and have kids and stuff.
Jake: So?
“Amanda: Do you usually put your knee in girls’ buttholes!?
Jake: Worse.”
– Jake Hurwitz
“I sit down to pee if it’s late at night”
– Jake Hurwitz
“(humping a table and looking at me)… you can’t post this on...”
– Jake Hurwitz
“6:06, whatcha gonna do? Gonna suck a lotta dicks…hey hey hey. Gonna come...”
– Jake Hurwitz
“50 cities. 50 days. 50 women.”
– Jake Hurwitz