Thursday, December 3 2009

Jake And Jess

  • Jake (fixing his belt): Sup babe?
  • Jess: What are you doing?
  • Jake: I'm adjusting my balls because they were stuck to the side of my thigh, and it was uncomfortable, and I was grabbing them with my left hand to fix it.
  • Sam: Jake, stop doing what you're doing.
Wednesday, November 18 2009
Oh man…

Oh man…

Tuesday, November 10 2009

High School Reunions

  • Streeter: I feel like the five year high school reunion is the last reunion where it's still cool to try to have sex with your classmates.
  • Jake: Yeah, obviously. Why wouldn't you try to do that at the ten year?
  • Streeter: 'Cause I feel like that's when people start to get married and have kids and stuff.
  • Jake: So?
Tuesday, November 10 2009
Thursday, November 5 2009
Amanda: Do you usually put your knee in girls’ buttholes!?
Jake: Worse.
Jake Hurwitz
Wednesday, November 4 2009
I sit down to pee if it’s late at night
Jake Hurwitz
Wednesday, November 4 2009
(humping a table and looking at me)… you can’t post this on Perverted Things Jake Says. Cause I’m not saying anything. I’m just humping a table. Shit…
Jake Hurwitz
Tuesday, November 3 2009
6:06, whatcha gonna do? Gonna suck a lotta dicks…hey hey hey. Gonna come on your chest… hey. 6:07, whats up Rosie.
Jake Hurwitz
Tuesday, November 3 2009
50 cities. 50 days. 50 women.
Jake Hurwitz